The Spirit Blades: Thoughts and Drabbles
by Irelia Yuuki
Summary: A collection of thoughts and drabbles. Mainly about character development, omakes, outtakes and funny scenes, but also about a few alternate events that went through my head. All of which goes along with my main project; SAO: The Spirit Blades. Rated T for language, potential violence.


**A/N: Hello and welcome to "The Spirit Blades: a Collection of Drabbles". This is where the stray thoughts, funny scenes, background stories and some character from my other story "SAO: The Spirit Blades" will end up.**

 **This is a short drabble I wrote up which explains, or goes along with, Maho's character development in the next few chapters. Inspired by a song I heard on youtube, I just couldn't resist since the similarities of the lyrics and Maho's current state of mind were perfect.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own the lyrics to the song "Battlefield" by –author- and nor do I own Sword Art Online, which belongs to Reki Kawahara.**

 **Enough of my rambling. Enjoy!**

 **~Irelia Yuuki**

 _No time for rest,_

 _No pillow for my head,_

 _Nowhere to run from this,_

 _No way to forget._

A figure just arrived at the teleport plaza in **Dessel** , with both a tired-looking posture and empty eyes, devoid of almost any of the green color they used to hold. The girl, Maho, started walking, seemingly aimlessly, through the city of **Dessel**. She wanted to forget the hardships she faced in the past, make peace with her demons and most of all, she wanted to finally have some semblance of peace in her life, which has been a whirlwind of emotions, hurt and sadness for the last three years. In the end, even returning to japan hadn't really helped her since the SAO incident happened so soon after.

In general, though, she didn't have the hardest conditions in life, with a rich family, being a savant and having a few friends which she really held dear. In fact, these were probably the easiest conditions one could wish for, since one had no problems when facing the challenges life had to offer. Her future was already a great one since she was born, having money to no ends, thus granting her a prestigious education for her intelligence to appropriately develop.

In the end, reality proved her wrong. And how it did so still amazes her to this day. Despite (or because of) her superior intelligence, she couldn't do a thing against the bullies she had to face during her time in the US. It was only because of one person that she was still sane and said person was god knows where, probably still in the states and confused about a few things. All in all, the last three years had left her more broken than she could've imagined before leaving for America.

 _Around the shadows creep,_

 _Like friends they cover me,_

 _Just wanna lay me down,_

 _And finally try to get some sleep._

Right now, Maho was looking for a place where she could sit down and think things through, preferably without any of her friends finding her. Thinking that being un-findable was pretty much impossible, she settled for a simple diner/café near the central plaza of the city. It was not like she expected anyone she knew to show up.

After she settled down, she started thinking about her family, her past, her present, her nightmares and her demons. In the end, she had to deal with the fact that her nightmares possibly wouldn't go away, even if she did succeed in making peace with the causes for said nightmares.

She had to accept that things in life knew no such thing as 'truly fucked', which is quite something, considering how fast things had gone so badly for her in the past. Even her genius, both in academics and in gaming, couldn't (or didn't) help her through the hardships and bullying she had to face whilst abroad.

She had absolutely no idea as to how to mend her, now even more, broken spirit and she had equally got no clue about making peace with her past. In the end, it seemed ironic that the thing she craved most right now would be impossible to acquire without attempting the impossible task of facing her demons and winning. For without demons, the nightmares would cease and she'd at last be able to get a good night's sleep.

 _We carry on,_

 _In the storm,_

 _Tired soldiers in this war._

 _Remember what you're fighting for._

It was only a few days after Christmas she realized that she couldn't let herself be dictated by her past and her fears, for it would kill off any semblance of a future she could hope to have. This also made her forgiving her sister a lot easier than she had previously thought, since she now had, what she felt like, a higher level of understanding about the entire situation. Even if she felt down, Marie, now her girlfriend, would almost never fail to cheer her up. During Maho's stay in the US, Marie had been a source of, albeit temporary, happiness.

Generally seen, her life had taken a turn for the better after that day at the diner. She now had someone whom she deeply cared about, possibly loved, (except for family) and said someone had become a beacon of hope in the vast plains of despair that Maho's life consisted of, then. Marie also made her realize the fact that holding on to negative feelings on a subject would only make things worse. This reflex of self-preservation, she realized, was slowly filling her world up with _even more_ hurt and sadness. Even though she still hid her emotions when hurt, she did it for a way shorter timespan now. And to a lesser degree, one might add.

Well, Marie's favorite quote " _There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love._ "Most certainly proved right in this case, as Maho eventually found out. The person she'd been a few months ago, even a few days ago, barely even existed anymore. She had freed herself (at least partially) from the demons of her past.

Of course, there were still a few skeletons buried in her metaphorical closet, but said skeletons, these memories, although few and far between, were scenes so horrifyingly traumatizing, no one would like to relive them. She only hoped that she didn't have to remind herself of these scenes anytime soon.

And finally, she realized that her being stuck in here was, mildly put, an inconvenience for both her and her loved ones. And even if she didn't hold them so dearly, there were still 7800 other people stuck in here with her, all of them probably having family and friends worrying about them. It was then that Maho swore to herself that she'd clear the game as quickly as possible. If not for her and Marie's sake, then for Kazuto's, Asuna's, Shino's and everybody else's sake. After all, the longer you're stuck the more time in reality will also pass.

Maho's personality and demeanor had changed, also. Whilst her matureness remained, she tried her best to be more approachable and to show more warmth more commonly. She's learning how to. And that's what matters. Eventually, she hoped, she'd be able to open her closet and face the skeletons buried within.

In short, the walls around her heart are crumbling; and only because of one person entering her life.

She is eternally grateful for that.

 **A/N: Well, that wraps up this drabble. If you've got any thoughts, comments, criticism or things to say to me in general, feel free to leave a PM or a review. I hope you enjoyed and see you in the next chapter. (I have no idea on when that will be…)**

 **~Irelia Yuuki**


End file.
